Clothes vs. Wardrobe

Do some people have clothes and others have a wardrobe?

My research on this subject reveals that no one really knows the difference. Some people (mostly men) will say that there is no difference. Other people (mostly women) not only believe there is a difference, but give you advice on "wardrobe essentials" to prove it. The common theme indicates that while a wardrobe may be a collection of clothes, it's not just a collection of clothes. There's direction to a wardrobe. Maybe even a purpose. And most people don't have one.

It's tough to go from having a closet full of clothes to having a wardrobe? (Even the word sounds better. Richer somehow. More meaningful. Wardrobe.) Like it's tough to go from a job to a career. But at some point, if we aren't living in the Florida Keys or New Orleans, don't we all have to go there?

I think I'd like a wardrobe, but after reading about essentials and core, I'm not sure that's really what I'm after. If I had a wardrobe, I'd like it to reflect my style as well as have a direction and purpose. I'm not sure that's possible or even recommended, since my jobs over the years only recently have translated into a career and it's not the screenwriting one of my dreams.

I guess I'll just concentrate on the fit and color issues and leave the direction to the professionals.

3 Months on Hiatus

One quarter of the way through the year and I'm confused.

At first I felt proud - three months! Wooohooo! But then I thought, why should I feel proud about not buying an item of clothing for 3 months? I mean, is it really something so worthwhile that I should be proud of it?

I'm also happy with the progress I've made in assessing my clothes, but I'm sad and disappointed with most of it and often feel awkward wearing what clothes I have left. Confused, right?

Perhaps the winter blues are affecting me. I look at the beautiful red tulips on my desk as I write and long for the colors of spring. The ad above says it all - I need the wild colorful prints of spring to cheer me up. I'm tired of the blacks and greys of winter! Unfortunately, I really only trust myself with those blacks and greys (and a few browns) so the confusion seems here to stay a while.

Social Shopping

Ever wonder why women go to the ladies room with a friend? Notice that we do the same with shopping? The social aspect of both is lost on men. Even feared by men. So what drives women to make shopping 'something to do' together'? The lunch beforehand? The drinks afterwards?

I think this social aspect of shopping represents the 'fun' that my sister likes, and I confess that I seem to remember back in the day when I could shop for clothes, I enjoyed browsing for items with a friend who could give advice or buy me a drink after not finding those Chanel shoes in my size. Is this simply an adult play date for women? Or retail group therapy?

In doing a bit of research on this issue to see whether anyone else had thoughts on it, I stumbled across an entire phenomenon that I didn't know existed - actually called 'social shopping.' Not a network of friends who get together to shop, but a social network devoted to e-shopping. That's right ladies, your very own network of virtual friends who help you with your online shopping by sending you email advice and recommendations! Even if it's not exactly Second Life, I'm a bit suspect of the whole concept and wonder what online stores join or create these networks to drive business their way.

And it's not really as fun as going out shopping with the girls, now is it? Who'd buy the drinks?

Fashion Weak

A fashion week is a fashion industry event, lasting approximately one week, that allows fashion designers or "houses" to display their latest collections. Catwalks/Runway shows are typically the highlight of fashion week. The most prominent fashion weeks are held in the fashion capitals of Milan, Paris, London and New York. In the early and mid 2000s, fashion weeks sprang up around the globe to draw attention to designers elsewhere.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In a few select cities across the globe, beautiful thin (and apparently not so diverse, at least this year) men and women are parading the latest ideas from fashion designers for the fabulous folks who will write about them or wear them. The rest of us watch the two minute YouTube films and buy the magazines to peruse what we should be wearing. Fascinating how we get drawn into fashion (and we all do - as pointed out by 'The Devil Wears Prada,' what happens in designerland on those catwalks for Fall08 trickles down H&M and UniQlo and Target by 2010). Eventually we will buy something created because of the work and effects of a well known fashion designer.

If we're going to be affected, then should we spend some time thinking about our purchases?

My sister tells me all the analysis and overthinking takes the fun out of shopping - she likes to look at things and window shop, even though she rarely buys anything. When she needs something, she says that she buys what she needs in the correct size, color and style for a reasonable price and well made so that she doesn't have to replace it for a while. I'm a bit suspicious. As I've said in a previous entry, I know her penchant for knock-off designer handbags and I know that she's loved a couple of Rafe for Target handbags.

At the other end of the spectrum is my friend S who isn't shopping and who encourages people to think about their shopping and make better choices based on the environment and social causes. For her, thinking will make shopping more enjoyable! And our well-intentioned purchases will make us feel better about ourselves, right? Again I'm suspicious. If we don't look good, we won't feel too much better.

I don't pretend to have the answer to this question, but as I examine and write about my own emotional shopping and now lack of shopping (9.27 months to go!), I can't ignore the emotions driving others who don't shop (like both my sister and S). Like most women, beneath our very different wraps of deprivation are buried emotions about how we feel about ourselves and our bodies. And like pieces of silky Agent Provocateur underwear hiding under the old ripped jeans and t-shirt - we all have to do a little undressing to find the interesting bits.

Starting Over

One of the UK Elle Magazine's writers hired a professional dresser to assess her wardrobe and ended up with her entire wardrobe being tossed out! I'm cringing with envy! To entirely rewrite yourself with such a bold move!

Her single step represents my year-long plan and part of the reason for my hiatus. During the past couple of months, I've continued to go through my wardrobe and take clothes that don't fit or suit me to the neighborhood charity shop. The difference now is that I don't go out and replace those items with ad hoc purchases of more clothes (usually on sale)! By the end of the year, with no 'bad' clothing purchases, I expect to have a fairly empty closet and a better idea of what clothes I should be wearing. That's when I expect to rewrite myself, and (hopefully) rewrite my relationship with clothes and clothes shopping.

I realize that an added benefit will be to rewrite my relationship with my body. The Elle writer described being surprised at finding her body again (and finding it "hot" and a size smaller than she remembered). Now I'm not expecting miracles at the end of my hiatus, but I expect to be able to dress more appropriately for my body, my looks, my career and my age. Goodbye Banana Republic bomber jacket (received as a gift ages ago when BR was a travel apparel store and not part of the GAP empire) and hello Burberry black midlength form-fitting trench coat!

And while there certainly will be staples left in my wardrobe (like those Prada riding boots that were purchased at my friend's encouragement in lieu of the Edie Sedgewick faux leopard jacket), they will be timeless and lovely items that fit and suit me, even if I have to hire a professional dresser to say so!

Substitute clothes shopping

With only little more than the time required to birth a baby left to my shopping hiatus, I've been asked whether I've been doing 'other' shopping in lieu of clothes / accessory shopping. Good question - where there's a vacuum, something's going to fill it. 

I imagine that there's elements of the same emotions involved in shopping for the body and shopping for the home.  Be your taste modern or kitchy, there remains a desire for pretty things and a feeling of acceptance with new Christy Embrace towels in the latest shade of putty. But are the emotions are as strong for home buys as for clothing? While we can all get excited over a new set of Frette sheets, the risk of being judged for owning them differs from the risk of wearing last year's style.

That being said, however, the void of not shopping for clothes and substituting that shopping with 'other' shopping says more about the need to shop. Some people need to venture out to stores and purchase; others don't. I'm fortunate in being in the latter group, but I understand that need to consume. And even I've gone on binges for my home - I replaced all furniture after the end of a long-term relationship. This protest against consumerism is one reason why my friend S has not shopped in almost a year.

So while I have not yet substituted 'other' shopping for my lack of clothes shopping, I understand how that happens. Forewarned is forearmed.

Fashion Sense (or Nonsense?)

I also have been told that I've never been "much of a dresser." I take this to mean that I didn't pay attention to what I wore. So why now, I'm asked? When did I become so interested in fashion?

I'm not sure that I wasn't paying attention. Like everyone, I think that I always had a style. Mine was just a less conventional one. Admittedly, even within that style (if you could call it that), I often wore the wrong color and the wrong size, but that's where the emotions come in. What drove the rebellion behind the ripped and worn clothes that defined me? And what was behind the fear of not wanting people to look at me?

Once I began to be aware of and pay more attention to what I wore, I had to be prepared that others would pay more attention as well. I had to be ready to be judged by others based upon my style or lack of style. I had to be ready for the slights as well as the compliments. I had to be ready to be examined and dissected. This is where all that therapy comes in handy. Awareness and preparation.Now if styles change and those low rise wide bottom black slacks are no longer "in", does that mean that I have to shop for new clothes? Or can I simply be aware that my clothes (and therefore me) are not "in style" and be okay with that? And what if I lose 10lbs (and I just may with these braces on my teeth) - does that justify a new wardrobe? Or can I find a good tailor and have some adjustments made?

Most women relish being the first with a new style. We feel better about ourselves when wearing the latest item from the catwalk. We fear being judged poorly by wearing something obviously dated. And anyone who has ever lost 10lbs or more desperately wants to show off our new figure with a new outfit (if not a new wardrobe). We want to celebrate our weight loss by shopping for a smaller size! Nothing wrong with all this, but let's be honest about all the emotional shopping going on and not hide behind our justifications.

That's what I'm talkin' about.