I want to ride my bicycle

Day 2 of the end of hiatus and still have made no purchase of clothes or accessories.

I wonder if it's like riding a bicycle and you never forget how...except when you do.

The End (or the Beginning?)

Today marks the official end of the year-long hiatus from clothes/accessory shopping!

It's Black Friday in the US, the notorious biggest shopping day of the year and it represented the appropriate day to begin a deliberate decision not to shop for a year. While it also may represent the appropriate day to end the hiatus (everything is on sale), who wants to deal with the crowds and the stress? So no, I won't be going out shopping today.

Actually, today, I am on holiday in the sun and sand and surf, nowhere near a store or shopping mall. So while my year is over, my examination continues (at least through next month and presumably the purchase of a pair of running shoes and ski glove liners, since I never figured out whether "athletic equipment" constituted clothing or accessories).

Let this be the beginning of more conscious shopping!

Lucky number 2

Two more days until the end of hiatus!

Cynicism vs. Comedy

I stand accused of becoming more cynical and less comedic during my time on hiatus. Apparently, my blog postings reached a comedic peak a little more than half-way through the year, then began to drop to a sneering level of cynicism.

Is this so wrong?


Peel back the outer layer of some of the world's best comedians and you'll find a healthy dose of scepticism, cynicism and many other -isms that are funny too. There's a blog where these issues are discussed, with a great comment from a reader - "[I]t's ok for smart, well-informed people to be skeptical, cynical and sarcastic. [C]hances are- the rest of the morons won't even notice."

[ www.bgalrstate.blogspot.com ]

This then is my answer to the woman I know who recently (and audaciously) sent me a book recommendation based on a recent blog entry, despite starting her email with, "I don't read your blog..." - so there!

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit

In looking at all the blogs on Michelle Obama, I noticed that they were all about her clothes and her particular way of dressing.

Nothing about her work as a lawyer, her legal education at Harvard or undergraduate work at Princeton. Sure, I realize that she's not the politician here, but it's always interesting to watch the news that surrounds females as opposed to males and what is deemed acceptable for discussion around both. I mean, does anyone know (or care) what kind of suit Barack Obama wore on election night? (In case you care, it was a 2-button, $1500 suit from an unnamed Chicago department store.)

This supports my believe that as has been the history in the US, from being considered chattel to getting the vote, race always trumps gender. People are more offended by racism than sexism (often not even recognizing the latter). And race usually wins the race for change.

Just ask Hillary Clinton, of the pantsuit revival fame, comments of which overshadowed her bid and her qualifications for the US presidency.

I don't know what will be worse for Michelle Obama - spending the next 4-8 years as the new Jackie O fashion icon without a word about any of her abilities, or looking forward to launching a clothing line at K-Mart after the run in the White House ends.

Lady in Red

Watch out Michelle Obama!

The fashion magazines writers are on you like white on rice!

[For those interested in that expression, which makes no apparent sense, go to http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/27/messages/299.html ].

Lesley Scott, the editor of the blog www.fashiontribes.com, commented the day after the US election that the First Lady-elect's choice of a designer dress for election night was a mistake. She stated, "...every fashionista worth her salt takes risks (two words: Carrie Bradshaw) which means the occasional misstep." Ouch! (I wonder whether she learned how to deliver a backhanded compliment from her mother!) And here I thought Mrs. O looked fabulous.

But then, what do I know about dressing myself, never mind dressing another human being.

Also all over the blogosphere are notes about Michelle Obama's style. There also is a style icon website for Michelle Obama - www.mrs-o.org - as well as a book coming out about her sense of style, and much more. And it's only been a couple of weeks since the election!

As for my opinion about the dress, at least it was shared by the editors of Vogue, who put Michelle Obama on their best-dressed list because of that very dress. (Who ever heard of Lesley Scott or fashiontribes.com anyway?)

Retail Failure

Did everyone else know that an entire body of work exists on the study of why/how a certain retail strategy fails, or am I the last person to find this out? To the other uninformed laypeople out there, the study can be best summarized as the “location, location, location” dilemma. You know, answering the question of why no store/restaurant ever succeeds at a certain spot. According to the researchers, location represents only one aspect of why a business fails.

So what does this have to do with hiatus?

Not much, really. Thankfully, no retailer will be affected by my not shopping for clothes/accessories for a year. But if a movement began and more people began to take a look at their shopping habits, then retailers would be affected and would have to question decisions like global expansion and the Starbucks mentality of a coffee shop on each corner to drive out competitors. Since only a handful of people read this blog and fewer listen to me, I can take no responsibility for any such movement, should one ever occur. After all, my journey concerns the emotional aspects of shopping, not the physical.

It’s been reported that people are shopping less due to the global recession, but that’s not entirely accurate. People continue to shop – they still go to the stores and look at things to buy, because their habits bring them to the shopping malls and downtown shopping areas on the weekends or late nights instead of going for a walk or a book club meeting. What they are not doing is buying things.

My hiatus is about both, not shopping and not buying. It’s about examining the reasons for being out there looking at and trying on clothes and things to buy. And in my year off, I didn’t go into stores and look. Not because of the temptation, and I admit, I could be tempted. (When I did pass by stores on my way to do other things, I eyed the window displays; the drool that resulted caused me to stop doing that and people-watch instead.) But I didn't go inside stores mainly because I questioned why I would go into those stores, and what feelings going inside - or window shopping - evoked. The examination has been broader than just the buying.

That examination has made all the difference.

Therapy vs. tequila

With double-digit days left in hiatus, I wonder about the return of my habits relating to purchasing new clothes and accessories. At this point, I’m not even sure whether I had habits per se; they were more like impulses. Still, I wonder whether I can keep them in check and purchase appropriately while still having some fun.

With Halloween behind me and no clothing or accessory purchases made for the holiday, I do feel stronger about differentiating the need to buy from the impulse to buy. There’s more of an internal awareness present. But I know that somewhere lurking behind that awareness awaits some emotional impulse ready to spring. And I’m not sure I’m ready for it.

I mean, how do you arm yourself against the envy of the outfit worn by the girl your guy couldn’t keep his eyes off of? How do you fight off the rage that creeps up after a day or an hour with your mother talking about your sister or the children of her friends and how good they look/are/etc.? How do you quash the fear of not looking corporate enough in your comfortable clogs when in your new department at work, all the women dress to the nines in Manolo Blahnik pumps?

My therapist has one answer, my bartender another.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7nbmjkImHQ

Fear and Clothing in LA

What is it about sexy clothes that either frightens us or turns us into vixens?

I'd like to think that it's Hollywood's fault.

Famous women in Hollywood are constantly scrutinized by paparazzi about what they are wearing, who else wore it (and who wore it better), and how much weight they've gained or lost. Can you imagine not being able to go out of the house without looking your best? Or not being able to wear a revealing dress or extra short skirt or no bra or undies without your photo appearing in a magazine with the headline, "Sleaze"? Of course these women have to be afraid - they're criticized as much for covering up as they are for wearing less.

I think each of us goes through this a bit thanks to our friends, work colleagues and mothers, all of whom are happy to point out (in the nicest way possible and for our own good, because they believe that we would want to know their opinion) how awful we look. I'm sure you've heard it too, the old passive/aggressive, "It's nice but..." comment. We then either change into something that covers us up more, or revolt and wear even less.

Sexy clothes call attention to us and leave us wide open to those comments. Of course we are frightened. But maybe it's time to face that fear and listen to our inner vixen.

So go ahead and undo that top button. Tell your mother I said it's okay.

What's it (m)all about?

Sigh.

A blogster's work is never easy. And while many of us blogsters expand our writings into areas outside the original scope of our respective blogs, we generally do try to keep our focus on the task at hand. So when a friend asked how - after an amazing presidential election in the USA and with only 3 weeks left of my hiatus - I could write about malls, I had to sigh.

Sure, I could write about hope and how some folks in the US have found themselves being patriotic for perhaps the first time in their lives. And I could jump on that bandwagon filled with pundits opining about change and how we all must meet and embrace the changes to come. Or I could encourage and praise and the like.

Instead, I wrote about malls.

But perhaps, just perhaps, in writing about malls and the transition that has occurred to our definition of malls from a social outdoor area to a shopping center in which we spend money, I am writing about hope and change. Maybe I'm encouraging people to examine why they buy more than they need (or can afford), and maybe I'm praising those who don't simply buy to have something or get into borrowing money that they can't pay back.

Maybe in my assessment of the feelings that underlie our current need for more clothes and things to wear (more than we can possibly need), I am deftly pointing out that we caused the change from 'mall' to 'shopping mall', and if we want to change the word back to the promenade lined with trees, we must choose a social life outside of shopping and accumulating things to fill the emotional gaps in our life.

Maybe I'm saying that the "yes we can" starts with us.

Mall Rat

A mall is defined as a large area, usually lined with shade trees and shrubbery, used as a public walk or promenade. (www.dictionary.com)

There is a mall in Central Park in New York City – a beautiful walkway through old Elm trees leading towards the lake. There’s a mall in Washington, DC – a long strip of greenery lined with trees and surrounded by museums and monuments. There are malls in lots of cities, places where people walked and ran and met friends and enjoyed the outdoors.

So now we get to a ‘shopping’ mall, which is defined as a large retail complex containing a variety of stores and restaurants housed in a series of connected or adjacent buildings or a single large building. (www.dictionary.com) (Sadly, dictionary.com lists the definition of “shopping mall” as the first definition of “mall.” What does this say about our current society?)

As my guest blogster pointed out in my November 4 entry, it says that we use shopping malls in the same way that our ancestors used malls. Sure, we go there to shop. But we also go there to walk. (Some older folks in the desert actually go to shopping malls to walk around multiple times as their daily exercise, since it's much easier to go for a mile walk in an air-conditioned mall than along a strip of desert when the sun is high). We go there to socialize. We go there to eat and play arcade games and watch movies. And we go there to dream of meeting someone special and being asked out.

As my special someone recently quoted to me (from one of my favorite movies, 1982’s Fast Times at Ridgemont High), “All the action’s on the other side of the mall…”

This is a guest post by Ruchira Shah aka Ruchi aka Arduous.

Would we shop the planet's resources away if there was more fun to be had?

I'm a recent transplant to London, and I had plans to check out the neighborhood around Ladbroke Grove. But as I sat riding the Tube, the rain started to pour down, and suddenly an afternoon of walking outdoors didn't seem like the best idea.

My phone rang.

"It's wet and miserable. Want to go to the mall instead? It's only a couple stops away."

And that is how I, a woman who spent a year not buying new stuff, ended up at Europe's largest mall on its opening weekend.

"I can't believe I'm going to a mall with Ms. Non-Consumer," said Raj.

"Yeah … well," I said.

We walked in and stared at the throngs of people milling around the enormous building.

I try hard not to judge. It doesn't do any good, and it turns people away from you. But, in that moment, as I watched swarms of people descend on a mall that is essentially identical to every other mall I've ever seen, during a financial crisis, no less, I couldn't help feeling a little judgmental and depressed.

"I guess everyone's forgotten about the recession," I said.

"But look … no one has shopping bags. No one's buying anything. They're just checking it out," Raj pointed out.

He was right. Here we were, at a mall--in Britain, no less--with thousands of other people, and yet, everyone seemed to be window shopping. And then it clicked. These people were here for the exact same reason I was here: because it was a rainy Saturday and they wanted to get out of the house.

I got even more depressed.

I want to ask, why, even in Western Europe, do we go to malls when we're feeling bored, or when it's raining? Why do we go to malls when we have no money to spend? Are malls really so much fun?

Because if all of you think that visiting a crowded mall and staring at unaffordable clothing is an excellent and incredibly fun way to spend the day, then I'll shut up. But if you're anything like Raj and me, maybe it's more like you're at a loss for other ideas.

What if we lived in a world with fewer malls, and more indoor parks, or children's museums or libraries? What if we flat out had more places for people to get out of the house, and just sit and relax and chat with their friends? What if we had more public space and less retail space?

Then maybe Raj and I wouldn't just wind up at a mall on a rainy Saturday. Maybe a mall would cease to be the easy and obvious choice. And maybe, and most importantly, maybe we'd have more fun.

The unfortunate truth, though, is that market economies are designed to cater to individual needs, but they don't work terribly well when it comes to things that benefit groups.

Left to itself, a free market will tend to under-produce thing such as public parks, libraries, and recreation centers. There is no market signal that says we need more benches on the sidewalks to hang out on.

So, if we want a world with public space that isn't devoted to retail, we have to get out there and make it happen. We need to tell our cities, our neighborhoods, our council members that we want fewer malls and more indoor parks.

We need to find a way where the needs of people power can overcome the insatiable profit needs of, say, Pottery Barn. Would fewer shopping malls be a sacrifice? Maybe for someone. But isn't living in a world with too few parks and libraries a greater sacrifice?

As for Raj and me, we escaped the mall after about twenty minutes. We decided that wandering rainy streets was the more enjoyable option. And the truth is--even without windows to shop--we had quite a good time.

[Ruchira Shah aka Ruchi aka Arduous was just your average young woman with a severe addiction to cute purses and high-end kitchen tools she never used, when one fine day, she decided to quit buying anything new. For a year. After twelve months of personal environmental experiments, Ruchi felt like she wanted to make a larger positive impact, so she decided to back to school for a master's degree. You can find Ruchi regularly on the web at her personal blog, Arduous Blog. Ruchi lives, laughs, and actively procrastinates in London.]