End of an ‘era’-tic year

In my line of work, we do year-end summaries, appraisals, and reviews, and I thought it best to extend that here on my blog as I end the year.

This doesn’t mean re-reading all the individual entries, but rather assessing the year as a whole and gleaning something from it. And since this blog reflects the emotions behind the year I didn’t shop, I hope that the ‘something’ gleaned relates to my review of those emotions regarding shopping and buying clothes and accessories.

So here goes:

The year I didn’t shop, I wore everything in my closet except a summer silk dress and a fancy sleeveless cocktail dress. I took better care of my shoes and boots with high-end polish, cedar inserts, and shoe bags (thanks to a special someone who gave me his extras) and I wore my dressy shoes more than a couple of times. I repaired belts and used all those pretty handbags that I’d accumulated and kept on display. I even returned a belt to Timberland that broke (twice!) despite being less than 3 years old. (And Timberland sent me a brand-new belt that I gave to my sister!) I felt proud, happy, desperate, frustrated and deprived at various times, as well as ashamed that all these possessions would produce those feelings.

The year I didn't shop, I didn’t lose my job or my apartment (although both remain at risk for 2009). Coming to terms with those near misses (especially when friends and co-workers have lost their jobs and may be moving away) has brought feelings of fear and guilt. This year I did lose my lovely cat companion of 16 years and I still cry when I think of him. This also brought me feelings of guilt (did I do enough for him?) mixed with the sadness and loss.

The year I didn't shop, I wore braces on my teeth. (I bought a juicer to avoid starving to death and dare the world to consider this purchase anything other than a medical necessity.) Wearing braces this year brought up more feelings of deprivation and shame - I sacrificed the joy of eating to the vanity of wanting a prettier smile. Sadly, I did not get my braces off for xmas as I'd wished and so this deprivation continues.

The year I didn't shop, I discovered all sorts of people and groups in the blogosphere and real world, where not shopping, shopping green/environmentally correct, making clothes, swapping clothes, and buying used clothes is a way of life. This discovery reminded me that all readers, whether of books, blogs or poetry, make a writer’s work their own by interpreting and extending their life into their reading. While my examination this year represented a different journey than that of these groups and people, they accepted me (for a time) as one of their own. Rather than feeling a sense of belonging with these groups, I felt like a fraud. But then, all writers are a bit fraudulent – we create stories and scenarios that don’t necessarily exist anywhere but in our heads and hearts. (That's why it's called 'fiction' Messrs. Rosenblat and Frey, and not 'memoirs'.)

The year I didn't shop, I also found that the people who followed my journey cared about me. And that made me feel loved. That feeling rises above all the others and makes this year, shopping hiatus and the blackfridayblues blog all worthwhile for me. Thank you all for that.

I hope that 2009 brings all of us more of that feeling.

Resolutions?

It's the end of 2008 and time for assessments and resolutions!

After giving and receiving over the holidays, now might be the time to go through those wardrobes and closets and think of what can be donated or recycled (or worn!). While it may be tempting to assess all your possessions and resolve to go through file cabinets and photographs and books and kitchen cabinets and attics and basements, it may be best to start small (with clothes/accessories in closets and wardrobes and drawers) and work your way up to the rest of the clutter. That way, you actually may get through a pile or two and not simply throw your arms up in an overwhelming sense of defeat. (Or, if you're like me, throw your arms around everything and toss it all out, trying not to look at or feel anything.)

So put those pesky emotions aside and get to it!

I've already put my thoughts together - look for tomorrow's posting and the end of blackfridayblues.com as you know it!

Dancin' fool

If you're wondering what to wear to the office holiday party, stop wondering!

There is no office party this year!

But that doesn't mean you can't dress like you're going to one. So go put on something bright that you haven't worn yet this year and go out dancing in the streets. Grab your special someone or a stranger or just pull a Tom Waits and take yourself out for a spin.

Once again - happy holidays - whichever one you celebrate!

More holiday fashion

Did you know that there is a "new" holiday (today, the 23rd of December) in between Winter Solstice and Christmas, called HumanLight?

Advertised as a humanist holiday for agnostics and atheists, according to the website, HumanLight "presents an alternative reason to celebrate: a Humanist's vision of a good future. It is a future in which all people can identify with each other, behave with the highest moral standards, and work together toward a happy, just and peaceful world."

Basically, this is the warm, fuzzy version of an old idea proposed in the 90s television series, "Seinfeld" - Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us. Even the same day was chosen! [See www.humanlight.org and www.religioustolerance.org/festivus.htm.]
This all sounds good, but how does someone or some group get to "create" a holiday? Is there a form to fill out? Some government office appointed to approve requests?

I've been wondering this for a while, as the calendar days continue to fill with random holidays never before heard of, magically appearing one year as if they always were there. (C'mon, you know you never heard of Kwanzaa ten years ago.) We all know why Hallmark created and marketed holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Secretary-now-called-Administrative-Assistant's Day, back in the days when people bought and mailed cards to each other. And we know why the greenies joined the Hallmark club 38 years ago with the creation of Earth Day, a middling kind of "holiday" geared towards observation, like Veterans or Remembrance Day or Flag Day, where no one gets the day off of work, but maybe we get a parade.

But these days creating holidays seems like a bandwagon that every group has joined. Like those little colored ribbons and rubber bracelets, there seems to be a different "day" for each agenda - AIDS Awareness Day, Smoke Free Day, Breast Cancer Awareness Day, and so on. Less about celebrating anything (never mind being holy, since the word "holiday" actually originated from a religious point of view - "holy" + "day"), they are days (sometimes months!) of awareness. Given out when you make a donation to the particular cause, these ribbon or bracelet accessories are supposed to be worn to show support, but have become more about fashion statements of allegiance to the corresponding agenda items of the particular cause.

With the retailers out there feeling the pinch this season, perhaps they'll be the next to jump aboard the holiday bandwagon. I imagine them creating an anti-hiatus type holiday called Shopiday, the day to celebrate purchases and purchasing. There will be ribbons made of cash register receipts and rubber bracelets mimicking currency. Maybe even little pins that look like shopping bags or price tags.

Perish the thought.

Ho Ho Hum?

(photo of Bettie Page, RIP, copyright Bunny Yaeger)

Except for Santacon - www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/12/20/fashion/20081220-street-feature/index.html
- there doesn't seem to be a whole lotta holiday cheer going on outside the blogosphere.

What happened to the parties? The dances? The eggnog?

Is it all just gloom and doom?

My friend S celebrated with lighting a pudding at her annual Solstichristmakwanzhanukkmurdhumanlighfestivuwhatever party recently, but no one wore a Santa hat or brought mistletoe. Santa didn't even come by. Is it just me or is everything a bit low key this year (emphasis on low)?

Hey, this year brought more than just shopping hiatus for me. I faced the fear of losing my job and home (ongoing fears at this point), and I felt the loss that only death brings. And yet, a sense of freedom followed the fear and a warm feeling of a love remembered followed the loss. While this blog has been about my emotional relationship to clothes shopping (and the journey that was shopping hiatus), it also predicated a lot of the emotions that are now out there in the real world, being experienced outside the blogosphere.

So since I'm still hanging out and celebrating other parts of 2008, I say put a little tongue in your cheek and stand under some mistletoe wearing only a Santa hat. (How's that for some inexpensive holiday fashion?) Some good cheer will come your way!

Happy Holidays all!

Shop 'n Stop

More and more people are on shopping hiatus these days, but not to examine their habits. No, the economy finally has caught up with the world (where has everyone been these past 9 months?) and the world has put away its wallet. The disturbing thing about all this is that the world is still out there shopping; it's just not buying.

Now that my hiatus is over and the blogging is winding down, I'm giving myself permission for a little soap-boxing. (Hey, since I've got a break from therapy through the end of the year, I'm going to take a break from examining all those emotions behind shopping too! A little change of pace can't be a bad thing.)

Here goes.

C'mon folks, the holiday season means more than frantically going from store to store for gifts. Get outside and go for a walk with a loved one in a park and not a mall. Invite friends over for conversation and not to give them gifts or show them your recent purchases. Visit a museum for the art and not the gift shop.

Options other than stores and shopping abound in the world! Go rediscover them!















What are you still doing here? Go!

A-hem.

True to form, hemlines are following the economy down, down, down.

This means that while I continue to worry about losing my job, I no longer have to worry about wearing my Laura Ashley Scottish wool hounds-print suit with velvet around the collar, sleeves and buttons because it is back in style! (Yes, Laura Ashley in London used to have funky-non-flowery clothes!) It also means that my floor-length Calvin Klein spaghetti-strap silk dress is in style.

Good thing, since I've worn both pieces this year in my attempt to wear the clothes that I have in my closet. The suit received kudos at work and the silk dress was deeply appreciated by my special someone at the Mostly Mozart Festival in New York. (See how hiatus helps?)

But I wonder whether I'm contributing to the perception of the state of everything in the toilet by pulling out these vintage pieces. Should I be pulling out my micro-minis instead, in an attempt to boost up the failing economy?

With some very chilly winter weather in the northern hemisphere, all I can say is that I'll do my part, but maybe not until the spring.