Hiatus hurdle

As of today, hiatus is in the final two-month stretch!

I'm wondering whether I'll miss the discipline of the forced break, whether I'll be tempted to go back to whimiscal purchases made to brighten my day.

I can't imagine doing this with some of the fashion styles out there now, but that's beside the point.

Hiatus protects me from the whims and the inherent fashion mistakes of the whims. It's a bit like wearing a school uniform - it leaves you no choice in the matter of what to wear to school. You just put on the uniform. (And in my case, hope you don't get hit with a ruler.)

Let's hope there's not some big ruler out there waiting for me come the end of November.

Say it in only six words

In the blogosphere, kitchy sites abound. One shows secrets written on postcards. [www.postsecret.com] This led to a related chatroom. The chatroom recently solicited six-word secrets. This was based on a book. A best-selling book that made money. Six-word synopses are the current rage. [www.smithmag.net/sixwords]

Why six and who picked it? That seems to be a secret.

My shopping hiatus knows no secrets. It needs no silly word limitations. When you can't shop, you die. (At least a part of you.) There's rebirth in writing about it. But not using just six words. That additional restriction seems unnecessarily cruel. Not at all poetic or interesting.

In fact, it seems rather boring.

Maybe writers should try three-word alliterations. Six-word secrets suck. Fashion foibles frustrate. Hiatus hinders Halloween.

Or maybe, writers should just go back to writing and stop trying to be cute for a buck.

Nobody. Hates. Saks.

There's a remake of a movie out now that features only women. All characters, even those extras in the background, are women. Aptly entitled, "The Women," it ironically is about a woman trying to get her man back. The subtitle to the original movie at least was more honest - "It's all about men!"

Ignoring the issues I might have with that, what interests me more is that, according to one reviewer, there is only one character that escapes 'the spit of cattiness' (such a great phrase - thank you Anthony Lane of The New Yorker!). That character is not a woman and not a man, but - you guessed it - a store. Saks.

[For those of you who only have been to a Saks Fifth Avenue store in your local shopping mall, Saks is a high-end department store located on Fifth Avenue in New York City, that has amazing window and light displays during the xmas holidays. When Saks branched out into mallworld, it called itself, 'Saks Fifth Avenue.' Since this came as a revelation to at least one friend from the western USA, I thought I'd clear that up now.]

And for those of you who understand high-end department stores, you'll appreciate the love affair that these woman have for Saks. The focus on this movie, like SATC, like Gossip Girls, like 90210, is fashion. Daily Variety highlighted the movie in its Fall fashion Emmy edition, elaborating that "friends may come and go, but fashion is forever." Worse yet, the main character's answer for finding out what she really wants to do with her life, is to design her own collection of clothes. Why not? Why should she be any different than Victoria Posh Spice Girl Beckham or Justin nSync Timberlake or the myriad of other actors who, not satisfied with their acting careers, want to make a mark in the world of fashion?

I don't know why they can't simply want to direct like normal actors?

Skin tight and skin deep

Years ago, a friend once asked me whether I'd like to come back to the world incredibly beautiful, but dumb as a doorknob, or genius-level smart, but hideously ugly. The choice was - and still is - easy.

Dumb and beautiful, of course!

I mean, if I were that beautiful and that dumb, I'd be too stupid to know anything other than everyone wanted to take care of things for me because of my beauty, right? I'd be helped with everything and desired by everyone. I'd be given loads of gifts, taken to heaps of dinners and dances, and have lots of friends. (And if they were false friends, I wouldn't know because I'd be too stupid to understand that!) All my life, I would only know that people always want to do things for me.

Sounds all right to me.

I thought of this recently when - twice in a week - I was accused of not being a sexual person with my choice of clothes. And the accusation may even have gone deeper than that, extending to me not being a sexual person with the physical being I put out in the world - hair style, makeup (or in my case, lack thereof), demeanor, etc.

While I'm not sure my accusers are so wrong, I'm also not sure that it's so wrong to keep that part of me private either. I mean, how does one reconcile looking sexy and attractive to the outside world with either not caring about it for fear of rejection, or being too afraid to look that way for fear of attention? (This is why I continue to pay my therapist good money - money that I earn because I'm not beautiful enough to just be given it.)

Overall, despite the attention of SATC, Gossip Girls and now 90210, I'm not sure that wearing tighter or more revealing clothes really helps a woman feel sexy or attractive. I think it's more to do with a woman's acceptance of herself that makes her feel that way. (And I think the same is true for guys, despite the old adage, 'the clothes make the man'.) So while a Hermes scarf tied around a woman's mane of billowing hair might look incredibly attractive, I don't think that it gives her the self-esteem needed to feel sexy wearing it.

Cuckoo for Coco

A recent movie on the life of Coco Chanel aired in the US on television last weekend.

Daily Variety glibly rated it a 'No. 5' on a scale of 1-10. Said to be 'less haute couture than high melodrama', this television biopic precedes another about Coco Chanel that is in the works at Warner Bros. Why so much interest in Coco Chanel (besides some reviewers' interest in seeing Shirley MacLaine play the aging designer)?

Well why not?

This is the woman who created the 'little black dress', the iconic Chanel suit and costume jewelry! On the heels of New York's Fashion Week, with both Victoria Posh Spice Girl Beckham and Justin nSync Timberlake of all people claiming to be fashion designers, I like the idea of a designer actually creating a style as opposed to copying one. Bring on the biopics about her!

And during these days of hiatus, when feeling particularly deprived after receiving Bergdoff Goodman's offer of a $100 gift card with a purchase from the fall shoe collection, do what I do and fondly recall that Coco once said, "Fashion fades, only style remains the same."

Boyfriend blues jeans

My life with jeans used to be simple. Levi's. Just Levi's. Straight leg, button fly, 501s. Simple.

Then came stonewashed, boot-cut, guy's fit, bell-bottoms, low-rise, 521s, 504s, 515s and all the other numbers corresponding to the styles of Levi's that I never knew existed. (See www.levi.com for the complete list.)

Things got worse when other brand names and styles came into existence. Diesel, Lucky Brand, Seven. Who could keep track?

Now the trends can't even keep up with themselves. 'Skinny' jeans came and went so quickly that I'm not even sure they ever really applied to women in the US - only young gay men. And news now that 'boyfriend' jeans currently are all the rage. You know the style, those jeans that hang low on your hips and also in the crotch in a slouchy kind of way because they're supposed to look like they are a couple of sizes too big, as if they are your boyfriend's jeans and you're wearing them home on your walk of shame. Katie Holmes recently was dubbed to be helping to bring them into style. (I won't get into her shame issues here; Tom, you know who you are.)

I consider all this as I recall donating some jeans and trousers last year to my local thrift shop because they were too big. You know, trying to keep only my clothes that fit and all. These pairs hung down on my hips and hung low in the crotch as if they weren't my own. I thought they looked sexy; others said they were big.

Here I thought the therapy was working - all it may be doing is stopping me from being the trendsetter that I apparently am.

Peace, Man

Yes, the New York Fashion Week shows finally are over, and peace has returned.

This means it's also time to return to documenting my emotional encounters with the new fall clothes that I can't have instead of picking on the poor designers and Hollywood A-listers attending their shows.

It was fun while it lasted.

I had the most fun searching for information about the shows. Amazing how much effort goes into the articles on the shows and what the clothes were like, who was invited to sit in the front row, what the designers (who had to explain their collections like misunderstood artists) said, and - in a perfect blend of past blog entries - the US Olympian on the catwalk with her 2 year old daughter. (Yes, Dara Torres, the 41-year old swimmer, modeled at the Charles Nolan show!)

The only thing to beat that would be if she had worn a superhero outfit.

Checkpoint Charlize

I know this blog is supposed to be about hiatus and the emotions behind shopping. And I should get back to checking in on "how I'm feeling" about my self-imposed inability to go out and pick up something new to wear. (Especially since I carefully avoid this subject with my therapist for fear of calculating how much haute couture I could buy if I stopped going to my therapy sessions).

But the New York Fashion Week shows are so tempting! And all the stars that come out for them! Even Charlize Theron, who seems more down-to-earth than this, is not above attending these shows. My research indicates that she has been in NYC this week for a Fashion Rocks benefit and at least attended the Rag & Bones show.

What is it about Hollywood stars that make them instant fashionistas and fashion icons? Why do they come to the shows when all they wear is stuff that is given to them, either on set, at a photo shoot or when designers give them free stuff to wear as walking advertisements? Do they take notes at these shows ("must ask Betsey how to tie a corset")? Schmooze designers for more free stuff ("if nominated, Ralph; if presenting, Calvin")? Show up for the publicity?

More importantly, how do I get a piece of this action?

Roadkill

New York Magazine has made it easier than ever for those of us who can't - or won't since we haven't won any contests - attend the New York Fashion Week shows to enjoy the shows via online slideshows.

The slideshows are broken down into "couture" and "ready-to-wear" (for those of you who know the difference between the two), but more importantly, also into "fabulous" and "hideous."

http://nymag.com/urr/fhl.pl?rm=listings_page&list=S08RTW&vs=tn&offset=0&f_or_h=h

Next time you're down and need a laugh or a boost in confidence, play the slideshow of the hideous shows from earlier this year (for the Fall 2008 line) or last (for the Spring 2008 line). Some well known designers on the hideous side - Issey Miyake, Miu Miu (that's Miucca Prada for the unenlightened), Comme des Garcons, Max Mara, Givenchy, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Alexander McQueen, Vera Wang, Ralph Lauren - the list goes on.

It's like roadkill, you can't help but look.

The Big Easy

Sometimes it's like taking candy from a baby.

Apparently Justin Timberlake (of boy band Nsync, Britney and wardrobe malfunction fame) is bringing his blend of Southern hospitality and LA flavor to NYC's Fall Fashion Week with his first runway show. The brand - William Rast - apparently has a DNA that is all about the lifestyle of Timberlake and his designer partner Trace Ayala's.

I don't know what that means either, but the pair say to expect "true Southern heritage in a modern-day setting." Their self-described styles (apparently the brand's aforesaid "DNA") are "Sinatra meets hip-hop" (Timberlake) and "Southern gentleman" (Ayala). And Ayala's Southern gentleman style is not a la Rhett Butler, but is described as a man from the South who wears vintage jeans, T-shirt, boots, and a baseball hat. Unfortunately, he fails to mention that such a man will need his accent to distinguish himself from all the other fashion-conscious metrosexuals in the world.

As the New York Post says, "the tents are up and the ringmasters are ready."

Bring in the clowns.

Bag Lady

I've entered a contest to win tickets to attend the Zac Posen show at NYC's Spring fashion shows.

Exciting, I know, but I only entered for the possibility of winning the third place prize, which is a goodie bag filled with Zac Posen things. For someone who hasn't shopped for clothes and accessories in 289 days (official count - it's actually been longer), a goodie bag with a nice blouse or skirt or something new that I could wear is much more alluring to me than watching a bunch of people drooling over items on a runway that not only can't I buy because of hiatus, but - more importantly - can't buy because I can't afford them.

Don't get me wrong - I like a lot of Zac Posen designs. And I looked forward to the Zac Posen for Target clothes just as much as the next person. But the line came out during hiatus and I couldn't buy anything.

So I'm sure you understand why it's the bag (which I'm hoping itself might even be a fashion accessory - see today's article in the New York Times - http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/04/fashion/shows/04ROW.html?ref=shows) that got my attention.

Wish me luck!

India Gives Again

Heads up Indian fashionistas!

In 2002 it was the launch of India Fashion Week; in 2007, it was the launch of Vogue India; and just this week, it was the launch of India's first fashion controversy (see my entry, India Giver, of Sept 1).

On the heels of all this fashion focus, the Indian government has announced that it is sponsoring a new entity called the Fashion Council of India to provide a platform for budding designers to launch themselves into the global fashion industry.

At the same time, in a somewhat different vein, Indian-born celebrity fashion designer Anand Jon Alexander awaits trial in California, accused of setting up a fashion design studio in Beverly Hills to lure models and sexually assault them. He also is being investigated in NY and was recently indicted in Texas for similar offenses.

Welcome India, to all facets of the fashion world!

India Giver

Forget about Gustav and Palin – there’s a big controversy over Vogue magazine’s 16-page spread of high-end fashion articles displayed by poor people in India!

The spread includes a family of three on a motorbike with the mother holding a Hermes Birkin bag (priced at US$10,000, if you can find one). Elsewhere in the spread, a toothless man holds a Burberry umbrella (US$200) and in another photo, a woman (also toothless – makes you wonder whether my braces will make any difference in my life) holds a baby who is wearing a Fendi bib (US$100).

The controversy concerns the expensive fashions being modeled by poor people who – according to the New York Times – live on a bit more than US$1 per day.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/01/business/worldbusiness/01vogue.html?hp

Apparently there also is criticism over the possibility of high-end stores opening up on the poorest streets of India where very few can afford the items for sale. Sounds to me like the critics don’t realize that that happens everywhere – why should India be any different? My friends in NYC can barely afford the rent in their neighborhoods never mind the items at the stores that have cropped up nearby over the years in SoHo and the West and East Villages.

The Vogue India editor has told critics to “lighten up” and, in what I consider to be the best quote about fashion ever made, states, “You have to remember with fashion, you can’t take it that seriously.” Amen.

As for my take on the spread, I hope the family of three rode off into the sunset with that bag and live happily ever after.

Once again, for the unenlightened

Wikipedia tells us that a bobby pin is a type of hairpin. In British English it is known as a "hair grip". It is a small pin or clip, usually of metal, used in coiffure to hold hair in place. Typical bobby pins are plain and unobtrusively colored, but some are elaborately decorated or jeweled. The "bobby pin" came into wide use as the hairstyle known as the "bob cut" or "bobbed hair" took hold. This trend gained popularity in the 1920s, and the bobby pins kept the bobbed hair in place. Bobby pins are inexpensive and tinted to match various hair colors which led to the fashion trend being adopted by 90% of North American women by the end of the decade.

And the Goody Stay Put band speaks for itself.