End of an ‘era’-tic year

In my line of work, we do year-end summaries, appraisals, and reviews, and I thought it best to extend that here on my blog as I end the year.

This doesn’t mean re-reading all the individual entries, but rather assessing the year as a whole and gleaning something from it. And since this blog reflects the emotions behind the year I didn’t shop, I hope that the ‘something’ gleaned relates to my review of those emotions regarding shopping and buying clothes and accessories.

So here goes:

The year I didn’t shop, I wore everything in my closet except a summer silk dress and a fancy sleeveless cocktail dress. I took better care of my shoes and boots with high-end polish, cedar inserts, and shoe bags (thanks to a special someone who gave me his extras) and I wore my dressy shoes more than a couple of times. I repaired belts and used all those pretty handbags that I’d accumulated and kept on display. I even returned a belt to Timberland that broke (twice!) despite being less than 3 years old. (And Timberland sent me a brand-new belt that I gave to my sister!) I felt proud, happy, desperate, frustrated and deprived at various times, as well as ashamed that all these possessions would produce those feelings.

The year I didn't shop, I didn’t lose my job or my apartment (although both remain at risk for 2009). Coming to terms with those near misses (especially when friends and co-workers have lost their jobs and may be moving away) has brought feelings of fear and guilt. This year I did lose my lovely cat companion of 16 years and I still cry when I think of him. This also brought me feelings of guilt (did I do enough for him?) mixed with the sadness and loss.

The year I didn't shop, I wore braces on my teeth. (I bought a juicer to avoid starving to death and dare the world to consider this purchase anything other than a medical necessity.) Wearing braces this year brought up more feelings of deprivation and shame - I sacrificed the joy of eating to the vanity of wanting a prettier smile. Sadly, I did not get my braces off for xmas as I'd wished and so this deprivation continues.

The year I didn't shop, I discovered all sorts of people and groups in the blogosphere and real world, where not shopping, shopping green/environmentally correct, making clothes, swapping clothes, and buying used clothes is a way of life. This discovery reminded me that all readers, whether of books, blogs or poetry, make a writer’s work their own by interpreting and extending their life into their reading. While my examination this year represented a different journey than that of these groups and people, they accepted me (for a time) as one of their own. Rather than feeling a sense of belonging with these groups, I felt like a fraud. But then, all writers are a bit fraudulent – we create stories and scenarios that don’t necessarily exist anywhere but in our heads and hearts. (That's why it's called 'fiction' Messrs. Rosenblat and Frey, and not 'memoirs'.)

The year I didn't shop, I also found that the people who followed my journey cared about me. And that made me feel loved. That feeling rises above all the others and makes this year, shopping hiatus and the blackfridayblues blog all worthwhile for me. Thank you all for that.

I hope that 2009 brings all of us more of that feeling.

Resolutions?

It's the end of 2008 and time for assessments and resolutions!

After giving and receiving over the holidays, now might be the time to go through those wardrobes and closets and think of what can be donated or recycled (or worn!). While it may be tempting to assess all your possessions and resolve to go through file cabinets and photographs and books and kitchen cabinets and attics and basements, it may be best to start small (with clothes/accessories in closets and wardrobes and drawers) and work your way up to the rest of the clutter. That way, you actually may get through a pile or two and not simply throw your arms up in an overwhelming sense of defeat. (Or, if you're like me, throw your arms around everything and toss it all out, trying not to look at or feel anything.)

So put those pesky emotions aside and get to it!

I've already put my thoughts together - look for tomorrow's posting and the end of blackfridayblues.com as you know it!

Dancin' fool

If you're wondering what to wear to the office holiday party, stop wondering!

There is no office party this year!

But that doesn't mean you can't dress like you're going to one. So go put on something bright that you haven't worn yet this year and go out dancing in the streets. Grab your special someone or a stranger or just pull a Tom Waits and take yourself out for a spin.

Once again - happy holidays - whichever one you celebrate!

More holiday fashion

Did you know that there is a "new" holiday (today, the 23rd of December) in between Winter Solstice and Christmas, called HumanLight?

Advertised as a humanist holiday for agnostics and atheists, according to the website, HumanLight "presents an alternative reason to celebrate: a Humanist's vision of a good future. It is a future in which all people can identify with each other, behave with the highest moral standards, and work together toward a happy, just and peaceful world."

Basically, this is the warm, fuzzy version of an old idea proposed in the 90s television series, "Seinfeld" - Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us. Even the same day was chosen! [See www.humanlight.org and www.religioustolerance.org/festivus.htm.]
This all sounds good, but how does someone or some group get to "create" a holiday? Is there a form to fill out? Some government office appointed to approve requests?

I've been wondering this for a while, as the calendar days continue to fill with random holidays never before heard of, magically appearing one year as if they always were there. (C'mon, you know you never heard of Kwanzaa ten years ago.) We all know why Hallmark created and marketed holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Secretary-now-called-Administrative-Assistant's Day, back in the days when people bought and mailed cards to each other. And we know why the greenies joined the Hallmark club 38 years ago with the creation of Earth Day, a middling kind of "holiday" geared towards observation, like Veterans or Remembrance Day or Flag Day, where no one gets the day off of work, but maybe we get a parade.

But these days creating holidays seems like a bandwagon that every group has joined. Like those little colored ribbons and rubber bracelets, there seems to be a different "day" for each agenda - AIDS Awareness Day, Smoke Free Day, Breast Cancer Awareness Day, and so on. Less about celebrating anything (never mind being holy, since the word "holiday" actually originated from a religious point of view - "holy" + "day"), they are days (sometimes months!) of awareness. Given out when you make a donation to the particular cause, these ribbon or bracelet accessories are supposed to be worn to show support, but have become more about fashion statements of allegiance to the corresponding agenda items of the particular cause.

With the retailers out there feeling the pinch this season, perhaps they'll be the next to jump aboard the holiday bandwagon. I imagine them creating an anti-hiatus type holiday called Shopiday, the day to celebrate purchases and purchasing. There will be ribbons made of cash register receipts and rubber bracelets mimicking currency. Maybe even little pins that look like shopping bags or price tags.

Perish the thought.

Ho Ho Hum?

(photo of Bettie Page, RIP, copyright Bunny Yaeger)

Except for Santacon - www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/12/20/fashion/20081220-street-feature/index.html
- there doesn't seem to be a whole lotta holiday cheer going on outside the blogosphere.

What happened to the parties? The dances? The eggnog?

Is it all just gloom and doom?

My friend S celebrated with lighting a pudding at her annual Solstichristmakwanzhanukkmurdhumanlighfestivuwhatever party recently, but no one wore a Santa hat or brought mistletoe. Santa didn't even come by. Is it just me or is everything a bit low key this year (emphasis on low)?

Hey, this year brought more than just shopping hiatus for me. I faced the fear of losing my job and home (ongoing fears at this point), and I felt the loss that only death brings. And yet, a sense of freedom followed the fear and a warm feeling of a love remembered followed the loss. While this blog has been about my emotional relationship to clothes shopping (and the journey that was shopping hiatus), it also predicated a lot of the emotions that are now out there in the real world, being experienced outside the blogosphere.

So since I'm still hanging out and celebrating other parts of 2008, I say put a little tongue in your cheek and stand under some mistletoe wearing only a Santa hat. (How's that for some inexpensive holiday fashion?) Some good cheer will come your way!

Happy Holidays all!

Shop 'n Stop

More and more people are on shopping hiatus these days, but not to examine their habits. No, the economy finally has caught up with the world (where has everyone been these past 9 months?) and the world has put away its wallet. The disturbing thing about all this is that the world is still out there shopping; it's just not buying.

Now that my hiatus is over and the blogging is winding down, I'm giving myself permission for a little soap-boxing. (Hey, since I've got a break from therapy through the end of the year, I'm going to take a break from examining all those emotions behind shopping too! A little change of pace can't be a bad thing.)

Here goes.

C'mon folks, the holiday season means more than frantically going from store to store for gifts. Get outside and go for a walk with a loved one in a park and not a mall. Invite friends over for conversation and not to give them gifts or show them your recent purchases. Visit a museum for the art and not the gift shop.

Options other than stores and shopping abound in the world! Go rediscover them!















What are you still doing here? Go!

A-hem.

True to form, hemlines are following the economy down, down, down.

This means that while I continue to worry about losing my job, I no longer have to worry about wearing my Laura Ashley Scottish wool hounds-print suit with velvet around the collar, sleeves and buttons because it is back in style! (Yes, Laura Ashley in London used to have funky-non-flowery clothes!) It also means that my floor-length Calvin Klein spaghetti-strap silk dress is in style.

Good thing, since I've worn both pieces this year in my attempt to wear the clothes that I have in my closet. The suit received kudos at work and the silk dress was deeply appreciated by my special someone at the Mostly Mozart Festival in New York. (See how hiatus helps?)

But I wonder whether I'm contributing to the perception of the state of everything in the toilet by pulling out these vintage pieces. Should I be pulling out my micro-minis instead, in an attempt to boost up the failing economy?

With some very chilly winter weather in the northern hemisphere, all I can say is that I'll do my part, but maybe not until the spring.

Hallelujah

And so hiatus ends.

Not with a whimper (like the love song of J. Alfred Prufrock), but with a bang and choir of angels.

Not with a purchase of a necessity like a pair of socks or underwear.

And not with a purchase of something practical like a pair of running shoes or ski glove liners or an interview suit.

No, the bang of a purchase ending my hiatus is the lovely black trench coat from Burberry. I would have gotten it used if anyone alive ever sold their Burberry trench coat (they don't). And I would have gotten a matching hat if it had been available in my size (it wasn't, but I take a medium if anyone is asking). The coat is a far cry from the boxy one-size-fits-all Driza-Bone, and wraps beautifully around me.

After all, I'm not in the outback any more.

Driza-Bone vs. Burberry

In case anyone wondered why I donated my Driza-Bone and want a Burberry trench coat instead.

I like to think of it as improving my image as opposed to vanity.

Let's all stop at the Duty Free shop

Am I alone in enjoying shopping at duty free stores in airports? Browsing the aisles for cigars, cigarettes, cosmetics, liquor and sundries? Picking up items that are unavailable at home?

I don't think so.

Now I don't know if the appeal of duty free shopping is avoiding the tax so much as going on a trip and picking up items that can only be gotten in another country, but if there was a Seinfeld episode about it, it's an appeal felt by many.

Lately, due to my hiatus, I've picked up only liquor and sunscreen, but next week I'll be at Heathrow Airport flying internationally and since I've already stocked up on my Havana Club rum and El Tesoro tequila, I'll be checking out Kurt Geiger, Burberry and a few other high end stores. It might be time to end my hiatus and get that black Burberry trench coat that will last forever and will look much better than the short black men's Driza-Bone that was given to me years ago (and which I donated to charity last year).

I know you all can relate.

Trendsetting (or 60% Off is the New Black)

I'm sure I've told you that I am often ahead of my time.

I brought back knee socks. The high heeled Mary Janes that Coach advertised for this season look a lot like the pair I bought from Kurt Geiger several years ago. I wore torn jeans before you had to pay for them to come that way and vintage when it was called used clothes and hand-me-downs. The list goes on.

Well, here's another example - a story, lesson and quote from this week's New Yorker Magazine. The story is about New York being on sale, and sale/discount purchases (especially of designer clothes). The lesson from the story is about being a better shopper and not purchasing clothes because of the discount. Sound familiar yet?

The quote is from the brilliant Patricia Marx:

"Do you swear you can't live without it? Well, then and only then can you mull over the dollars and cents. What does this have to do with my philosophy of life? Simply this: Do not be seduced by the deal. It's better to spend a lot on a getup you love than a fraction of that on something, or even five of those somethings, that you'll never bother to take out of the shopping bag. By the way, this advice also applies to discount love interests. And half-price sushi."

Now only if I can write as well as I can set a trend...

I want to ride my bicycle

Day 2 of the end of hiatus and still have made no purchase of clothes or accessories.

I wonder if it's like riding a bicycle and you never forget how...except when you do.

The End (or the Beginning?)

Today marks the official end of the year-long hiatus from clothes/accessory shopping!

It's Black Friday in the US, the notorious biggest shopping day of the year and it represented the appropriate day to begin a deliberate decision not to shop for a year. While it also may represent the appropriate day to end the hiatus (everything is on sale), who wants to deal with the crowds and the stress? So no, I won't be going out shopping today.

Actually, today, I am on holiday in the sun and sand and surf, nowhere near a store or shopping mall. So while my year is over, my examination continues (at least through next month and presumably the purchase of a pair of running shoes and ski glove liners, since I never figured out whether "athletic equipment" constituted clothing or accessories).

Let this be the beginning of more conscious shopping!

Lucky number 2

Two more days until the end of hiatus!

Cynicism vs. Comedy

I stand accused of becoming more cynical and less comedic during my time on hiatus. Apparently, my blog postings reached a comedic peak a little more than half-way through the year, then began to drop to a sneering level of cynicism.

Is this so wrong?


Peel back the outer layer of some of the world's best comedians and you'll find a healthy dose of scepticism, cynicism and many other -isms that are funny too. There's a blog where these issues are discussed, with a great comment from a reader - "[I]t's ok for smart, well-informed people to be skeptical, cynical and sarcastic. [C]hances are- the rest of the morons won't even notice."

[ www.bgalrstate.blogspot.com ]

This then is my answer to the woman I know who recently (and audaciously) sent me a book recommendation based on a recent blog entry, despite starting her email with, "I don't read your blog..." - so there!

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit

In looking at all the blogs on Michelle Obama, I noticed that they were all about her clothes and her particular way of dressing.

Nothing about her work as a lawyer, her legal education at Harvard or undergraduate work at Princeton. Sure, I realize that she's not the politician here, but it's always interesting to watch the news that surrounds females as opposed to males and what is deemed acceptable for discussion around both. I mean, does anyone know (or care) what kind of suit Barack Obama wore on election night? (In case you care, it was a 2-button, $1500 suit from an unnamed Chicago department store.)

This supports my believe that as has been the history in the US, from being considered chattel to getting the vote, race always trumps gender. People are more offended by racism than sexism (often not even recognizing the latter). And race usually wins the race for change.

Just ask Hillary Clinton, of the pantsuit revival fame, comments of which overshadowed her bid and her qualifications for the US presidency.

I don't know what will be worse for Michelle Obama - spending the next 4-8 years as the new Jackie O fashion icon without a word about any of her abilities, or looking forward to launching a clothing line at K-Mart after the run in the White House ends.

Lady in Red

Watch out Michelle Obama!

The fashion magazines writers are on you like white on rice!

[For those interested in that expression, which makes no apparent sense, go to http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/27/messages/299.html ].

Lesley Scott, the editor of the blog www.fashiontribes.com, commented the day after the US election that the First Lady-elect's choice of a designer dress for election night was a mistake. She stated, "...every fashionista worth her salt takes risks (two words: Carrie Bradshaw) which means the occasional misstep." Ouch! (I wonder whether she learned how to deliver a backhanded compliment from her mother!) And here I thought Mrs. O looked fabulous.

But then, what do I know about dressing myself, never mind dressing another human being.

Also all over the blogosphere are notes about Michelle Obama's style. There also is a style icon website for Michelle Obama - www.mrs-o.org - as well as a book coming out about her sense of style, and much more. And it's only been a couple of weeks since the election!

As for my opinion about the dress, at least it was shared by the editors of Vogue, who put Michelle Obama on their best-dressed list because of that very dress. (Who ever heard of Lesley Scott or fashiontribes.com anyway?)

Retail Failure

Did everyone else know that an entire body of work exists on the study of why/how a certain retail strategy fails, or am I the last person to find this out? To the other uninformed laypeople out there, the study can be best summarized as the “location, location, location” dilemma. You know, answering the question of why no store/restaurant ever succeeds at a certain spot. According to the researchers, location represents only one aspect of why a business fails.

So what does this have to do with hiatus?

Not much, really. Thankfully, no retailer will be affected by my not shopping for clothes/accessories for a year. But if a movement began and more people began to take a look at their shopping habits, then retailers would be affected and would have to question decisions like global expansion and the Starbucks mentality of a coffee shop on each corner to drive out competitors. Since only a handful of people read this blog and fewer listen to me, I can take no responsibility for any such movement, should one ever occur. After all, my journey concerns the emotional aspects of shopping, not the physical.

It’s been reported that people are shopping less due to the global recession, but that’s not entirely accurate. People continue to shop – they still go to the stores and look at things to buy, because their habits bring them to the shopping malls and downtown shopping areas on the weekends or late nights instead of going for a walk or a book club meeting. What they are not doing is buying things.

My hiatus is about both, not shopping and not buying. It’s about examining the reasons for being out there looking at and trying on clothes and things to buy. And in my year off, I didn’t go into stores and look. Not because of the temptation, and I admit, I could be tempted. (When I did pass by stores on my way to do other things, I eyed the window displays; the drool that resulted caused me to stop doing that and people-watch instead.) But I didn't go inside stores mainly because I questioned why I would go into those stores, and what feelings going inside - or window shopping - evoked. The examination has been broader than just the buying.

That examination has made all the difference.

Therapy vs. tequila

With double-digit days left in hiatus, I wonder about the return of my habits relating to purchasing new clothes and accessories. At this point, I’m not even sure whether I had habits per se; they were more like impulses. Still, I wonder whether I can keep them in check and purchase appropriately while still having some fun.

With Halloween behind me and no clothing or accessory purchases made for the holiday, I do feel stronger about differentiating the need to buy from the impulse to buy. There’s more of an internal awareness present. But I know that somewhere lurking behind that awareness awaits some emotional impulse ready to spring. And I’m not sure I’m ready for it.

I mean, how do you arm yourself against the envy of the outfit worn by the girl your guy couldn’t keep his eyes off of? How do you fight off the rage that creeps up after a day or an hour with your mother talking about your sister or the children of her friends and how good they look/are/etc.? How do you quash the fear of not looking corporate enough in your comfortable clogs when in your new department at work, all the women dress to the nines in Manolo Blahnik pumps?

My therapist has one answer, my bartender another.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7nbmjkImHQ

Fear and Clothing in LA

What is it about sexy clothes that either frightens us or turns us into vixens?

I'd like to think that it's Hollywood's fault.

Famous women in Hollywood are constantly scrutinized by paparazzi about what they are wearing, who else wore it (and who wore it better), and how much weight they've gained or lost. Can you imagine not being able to go out of the house without looking your best? Or not being able to wear a revealing dress or extra short skirt or no bra or undies without your photo appearing in a magazine with the headline, "Sleaze"? Of course these women have to be afraid - they're criticized as much for covering up as they are for wearing less.

I think each of us goes through this a bit thanks to our friends, work colleagues and mothers, all of whom are happy to point out (in the nicest way possible and for our own good, because they believe that we would want to know their opinion) how awful we look. I'm sure you've heard it too, the old passive/aggressive, "It's nice but..." comment. We then either change into something that covers us up more, or revolt and wear even less.

Sexy clothes call attention to us and leave us wide open to those comments. Of course we are frightened. But maybe it's time to face that fear and listen to our inner vixen.

So go ahead and undo that top button. Tell your mother I said it's okay.

What's it (m)all about?

Sigh.

A blogster's work is never easy. And while many of us blogsters expand our writings into areas outside the original scope of our respective blogs, we generally do try to keep our focus on the task at hand. So when a friend asked how - after an amazing presidential election in the USA and with only 3 weeks left of my hiatus - I could write about malls, I had to sigh.

Sure, I could write about hope and how some folks in the US have found themselves being patriotic for perhaps the first time in their lives. And I could jump on that bandwagon filled with pundits opining about change and how we all must meet and embrace the changes to come. Or I could encourage and praise and the like.

Instead, I wrote about malls.

But perhaps, just perhaps, in writing about malls and the transition that has occurred to our definition of malls from a social outdoor area to a shopping center in which we spend money, I am writing about hope and change. Maybe I'm encouraging people to examine why they buy more than they need (or can afford), and maybe I'm praising those who don't simply buy to have something or get into borrowing money that they can't pay back.

Maybe in my assessment of the feelings that underlie our current need for more clothes and things to wear (more than we can possibly need), I am deftly pointing out that we caused the change from 'mall' to 'shopping mall', and if we want to change the word back to the promenade lined with trees, we must choose a social life outside of shopping and accumulating things to fill the emotional gaps in our life.

Maybe I'm saying that the "yes we can" starts with us.

Mall Rat

A mall is defined as a large area, usually lined with shade trees and shrubbery, used as a public walk or promenade. (www.dictionary.com)

There is a mall in Central Park in New York City – a beautiful walkway through old Elm trees leading towards the lake. There’s a mall in Washington, DC – a long strip of greenery lined with trees and surrounded by museums and monuments. There are malls in lots of cities, places where people walked and ran and met friends and enjoyed the outdoors.

So now we get to a ‘shopping’ mall, which is defined as a large retail complex containing a variety of stores and restaurants housed in a series of connected or adjacent buildings or a single large building. (www.dictionary.com) (Sadly, dictionary.com lists the definition of “shopping mall” as the first definition of “mall.” What does this say about our current society?)

As my guest blogster pointed out in my November 4 entry, it says that we use shopping malls in the same way that our ancestors used malls. Sure, we go there to shop. But we also go there to walk. (Some older folks in the desert actually go to shopping malls to walk around multiple times as their daily exercise, since it's much easier to go for a mile walk in an air-conditioned mall than along a strip of desert when the sun is high). We go there to socialize. We go there to eat and play arcade games and watch movies. And we go there to dream of meeting someone special and being asked out.

As my special someone recently quoted to me (from one of my favorite movies, 1982’s Fast Times at Ridgemont High), “All the action’s on the other side of the mall…”

This is a guest post by Ruchira Shah aka Ruchi aka Arduous.

Would we shop the planet's resources away if there was more fun to be had?

I'm a recent transplant to London, and I had plans to check out the neighborhood around Ladbroke Grove. But as I sat riding the Tube, the rain started to pour down, and suddenly an afternoon of walking outdoors didn't seem like the best idea.

My phone rang.

"It's wet and miserable. Want to go to the mall instead? It's only a couple stops away."

And that is how I, a woman who spent a year not buying new stuff, ended up at Europe's largest mall on its opening weekend.

"I can't believe I'm going to a mall with Ms. Non-Consumer," said Raj.

"Yeah … well," I said.

We walked in and stared at the throngs of people milling around the enormous building.

I try hard not to judge. It doesn't do any good, and it turns people away from you. But, in that moment, as I watched swarms of people descend on a mall that is essentially identical to every other mall I've ever seen, during a financial crisis, no less, I couldn't help feeling a little judgmental and depressed.

"I guess everyone's forgotten about the recession," I said.

"But look … no one has shopping bags. No one's buying anything. They're just checking it out," Raj pointed out.

He was right. Here we were, at a mall--in Britain, no less--with thousands of other people, and yet, everyone seemed to be window shopping. And then it clicked. These people were here for the exact same reason I was here: because it was a rainy Saturday and they wanted to get out of the house.

I got even more depressed.

I want to ask, why, even in Western Europe, do we go to malls when we're feeling bored, or when it's raining? Why do we go to malls when we have no money to spend? Are malls really so much fun?

Because if all of you think that visiting a crowded mall and staring at unaffordable clothing is an excellent and incredibly fun way to spend the day, then I'll shut up. But if you're anything like Raj and me, maybe it's more like you're at a loss for other ideas.

What if we lived in a world with fewer malls, and more indoor parks, or children's museums or libraries? What if we flat out had more places for people to get out of the house, and just sit and relax and chat with their friends? What if we had more public space and less retail space?

Then maybe Raj and I wouldn't just wind up at a mall on a rainy Saturday. Maybe a mall would cease to be the easy and obvious choice. And maybe, and most importantly, maybe we'd have more fun.

The unfortunate truth, though, is that market economies are designed to cater to individual needs, but they don't work terribly well when it comes to things that benefit groups.

Left to itself, a free market will tend to under-produce thing such as public parks, libraries, and recreation centers. There is no market signal that says we need more benches on the sidewalks to hang out on.

So, if we want a world with public space that isn't devoted to retail, we have to get out there and make it happen. We need to tell our cities, our neighborhoods, our council members that we want fewer malls and more indoor parks.

We need to find a way where the needs of people power can overcome the insatiable profit needs of, say, Pottery Barn. Would fewer shopping malls be a sacrifice? Maybe for someone. But isn't living in a world with too few parks and libraries a greater sacrifice?

As for Raj and me, we escaped the mall after about twenty minutes. We decided that wandering rainy streets was the more enjoyable option. And the truth is--even without windows to shop--we had quite a good time.

[Ruchira Shah aka Ruchi aka Arduous was just your average young woman with a severe addiction to cute purses and high-end kitchen tools she never used, when one fine day, she decided to quit buying anything new. For a year. After twelve months of personal environmental experiments, Ruchi felt like she wanted to make a larger positive impact, so she decided to back to school for a master's degree. You can find Ruchi regularly on the web at her personal blog, Arduous Blog. Ruchi lives, laughs, and actively procrastinates in London.]

Trick or treat?

It's really anyone's guess.


Happy Halloween!


(And for my Celtic friends, Happy New Year!)

Costumes vs. clothes - a dilema

Would a purchase of certain items for a Halloween costume be considered buying clothing? Or accessories?

Items like a red or black or blue suit from Neiman Marcus, a pair of frameless Japanese glasses, a US flag pin, and a baby blanket for a Down's syndrome infant doll that will be carried by a child paid to be your prop for the night?

If so, does anyone out there in the blogosphere besides Tina Fey have a sexy red suit, size 0-6 (depending on label, year it was made, and whether the skirt will hang low so that my belly can pop out - I am going as a PREGNANT Sarah Palin), that I can borrow?

Breaking the fast

What's the question on everyone's mind? What is keeping us up at night? With the suspense almost too much to bear, the answer just around the corner.

That's right, what will the bluestraveler buy first after hiatus is over?

Oh sure, in the US, there's a presidential election next week. And yes, the global economy is in the toilet, with more flushing to come. But those things are really out of our hands. (You don't believe that the US actually elected W twice in 8 years, do you? Go look at "Hacking Democracy" a short HBO film found on dailymotion.)

[ Hacking democracy Part 1
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u6pl_hacking-democracy-p1_shortfilms
Hacking democracy Part 2
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u6s6_hacking-democracy-p2_shortfilms
Hacking democracy Part 3
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u6tc_hacking-democracy-p3_shortfilms
Hacking democracy Part 4
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u6uc_hacking-democracy-p4_shortfilms
Hacking democracy Part 5
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u6wk_hacking-democracy-p5_shortfilms
Hacking democracy Part 6
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u72f_hacking-democracy-p6_shortfilms
Hacking democracy Part 7
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u76j_hacking-democracy-p7_shortfilms
Hacking Democracy Part 8
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u7in_hacking-democracy-p8_shortfilms
Hacking democracy Part 9
http://www.dailymotion.com/Channel_Zero/video/x4u7bg_hacking-democracy-p9_shortfilms ]

The first item of clothing or accessorizing purchased for oneself after a year should have some meaning to it. But it also might need to be something light, like juice after a food fast, so as not to cause shock to the system but to ease the body back into solids. One thing's for sure, it must be done with reflection on why one would make a purchase at all.

With my Timberland black belt breaking this weekend and the shoe repair guy saying it's not worth repairing (again), I wonder whether my first purchase should be one of necessity (although I've heard Timberland guarantees its stuff for life, and I may ship it back to the company for replacement), or should it be one of desire (like those black Chanel pumps that I've thought about this entire year)? Or should the economy dictate and I simply continue not to purchase anything like that until given a sign? (Not from the heavens - from the analysts!)

Any suggestions?

And I send a special thank you to whomever sent me 6 pair of sport socks! Most definitely needed! (Without this kind gift, sport socks may have been that first purchase...they get holes so easily!)

Stylista

Surely you've heard of it.

The newest reality show where "Project Runway" meets "The Devil Wears Prada" meets a bit of "Ugly Betty". Where 11 aspiring fashionistas vie for a junior editor job at Elle magazine in New York (which comes with a clothing allowance AND an apartment in Manhattan). Where the contestants hate each other and cry because of the competition and drama and sense of entitlement.

If you've ever questioned whether the insane (or is that inane?) obsession with fashion (or, for us snobs, style) exists, then this show is a must see!

And okay, I'll stop calling you Shirley!

Retail Therapy part 3

Part of Wikipedia's definition of 'retail therapy' (which is "shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition") includes the distinction betwen 'retail addiction' and 'retail therapy'.

"Retail addiction or shopping addiction should be considered a separate and serious problem. The term 'therapy' by definition implies a treatment for a problem (here, depression or stress), not a problem itself. Retail therapy may be the wrong treatment in many cases, but it is not, by definition, dangerous or problematic."

Who knew that Wikipedia had to provide disclaimers?

Retail Therapy part 2

Apparently not everyone thinks that shopping as therapy represents something negative.

On a women's health website, one writer opines that shopping empowers women - "Money is congealed energy, and releasing it releases life's possibilities." That means that for women who experience spending money in a positive way, shopping represents good therapy, and the enhanced mood merely represents a by-product of the positive nature of the experience.

[http://health.discovery.com/centers/womens/shopping/shoppingtherapy_03.html]

Sounds like there's a dream job out there called 'Shopping Therapist' just waiting to be created.

Retail Therapy part 1

If you ever want to understand how shopping malls became the new town centers and why the town centers were always the shopping districts, then you have to understand retail therapy. Shopping to improve one's mood is not new and it's not unique to any particular culture. It may be a bit out of control, but now more than ever it seems to have a negative connotation.

I think that if a trip to a mall or store keeps mom and dad from beating the kids, it can't be all bad.

But why shopping as therapy? What is it about the act of purchasing a new dress that acts like Prozac? (I mean, it's not as if that newly purchased dress is a Martini or Manhattan coursing through your bloodstream, although post-shopping liquid lunches seemingly are popular).

I think it's more about the dream of how the dress will improve your life. Your mood improves because in that dress you will meet Mr. Right, land that perfect job, get a compliment from your catty friend (or at least look better than her), and finally get approval from your mother. The dress makes it all possible.

It sounds simple, but even Cinderella only got to go to the ball because of the dress.

40 Days and 40 Nights

Who knew that the early track of 40 days was a very effective method of measuring and metering out each passing solar year? That ancient writings and artifacts (including certain monuments) make it clear that a cycle of 40 days was once carefully time tracked?

For the math-obsessed out there, there is a formula and axiom that I won't go into (since I found it on some bizarre creationalist website). It's enough to say that the 40 days and 40 nights has some sort of ancient meaning. We've all heard about Moses going out and fasting for the 40 days and 40 nights, that there are 40 days and 40 nights in lent (for the christians) or post Mardi-gras, pre-easter bunny (for the heathens), and that there is a 2002 movie entitled 40 Days and 40 Nights starring Josh Hartnett who, for some reason, is determined to stay celebate for that time period.

But did you know that there are now 40 days and 40 nights left of hiatus?

More on Fashion vs. Style

In more research about how style differs from fashion, I came across one David G. Hartwell's Three Laws of Fashion:

To Dress in ignorance of Fashion is to Dress badly.
To Dress knowingly in Fashion is to become invisible.
To Dress knowingly in opposition to Fashion is to have your own style.

Apparently any random blogster can create "laws" or rules of fashion (and use Capital letters whenever it suits Him/Her).

I quote him here only to reiterate my earlier blog about most people feeling one way or another because of how others regard the clothes they wear or don't wear. David G. Hartwell is living proof of this - he's telling anyone who reads him (and cares) that if you are ignorant of fashion, then you are a bad dresser and if you abide by the latest trend, then you are just like everyone else. If, however, you dress his way, and know fashion but contradict it with your dress, then you have a style. (See above photo - those are polka dots on the tie.)

Sounds like an excuse for not seeing so well in his old age.

Fashion in Northanger Abbey

I’ve just finished reading all of Jane Austen’s novels.

I’d never read them before (shocking really; me, with a degree in English and History, never reading Austen!) and felt a gaping hole in my education because of it. I attempted to get a book club together a la the movie, The Jane Austen Book Club, but that fell apart quickly due to alcohol. (Note to self – do not try to start a ‘pub book club’.) So I read them on my own.

As you may know, during this hiatus of mine, I've tried to examine how clothes and clothes shopping impact feelings. I've discovered it goes even further than that. Wearing certain types of clothes, being "in fashion," and having an accepted style, all impact our feelings. The interesting part of this examination for me is that much of how we feel when we wear certain clothes depends on how we are perceived by other people.

Austen brings that out in her novels. While she doesn’t spend a lot of time on fashion in her stories, she does use fashion to better explain her characters. [That became clearest to me in Northanger Abbey, where the preoccupation of fashion by two characters shows their false natures, and the comment of another shows her (and Austen’s) views on fashion - “Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction, and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim.”]

Things haven’t changed much. From the kids needing to wear certain brands and labels or risk mockery at school to the adults attending fashion shows to the popularity of certain television shows to the multitude of blogs picturing what the blogsters are wearing today, we all spend too much time fretting about what we wear.

And why does what we wear make us feel one way or another? Why aren’t we taught to be more confident and aware of whom we are through what we do and not what we wear? Are we truly all a bunch of unaware Neanderthals in need of therapy?

If the Manolo Blahnik fits...

Mirror Mirror

A friend recently stayed at my place and, after praising me for the excellent lighted bathroom mirror (given to me by a special someone), proceeded to chastise me for having no full-length mirror.

Truth be told, I used to have a full-length mirror. It was bashed to pieces last year by my robotic vacuum (the iRobot Roomba, also given to me by that special someone - http://store.irobot.com), which was vacuuming my bedroom unsupervised. (Note that the Roomba is now on a 7-year bad luck hiatus after this event, since it took me more time to clean up the glass than it would have to simply vacuum the damn room myself. Whether its hiatus is bad luck for it or me remains undetermined.)

I understand the purpose of a full-length mirror, but I never bought into the need for one. I usually pack my work clothes in a bag and ride my bike or walk to work, so I don’t leave my place wearing work clothes. At other times, I’m usually throwing clothes on my body and running out the door, with no time to think of whether I have everything I need, nevermind checking on how I look. (I sometimes wonder what my neighbors think when they see me running errands after my yoga practice or run, still disheveled in my exercise clothes. But then I blissfully forget and do it again the next weekend.)

Janet Street-Porter, a 61-year old woman who writes for the UK’s Guardian doesn’t have a full-length mirror because she doesn’t want to see those aging parts of her body. [http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/jan/26/fashion.beauty]
She goes even further than the full-length version, saying, “Life’s too f*%#ing short to spend it in front of a mirror.”

She has a point.

But is it lack of caring, confidence or simple unawareness that keep her (and me) from getting the mirror?

Speaking of Barbie

None of this hiatus stuff for Barbie!

She and Skipper always had new clothes and accessories. She had the right colors and sizes for her unusual but somehow acceptable body. Her shoes fit her perfectly and never left a mark. (And they were all high heels!) Her makeup - always impeccable.

Say what you will, but there's a bit of Barbie in all of us. (See the descriptions of the "new" Barbies below and fill in your own city.)

http://suvine.wordpress.com/2007/01/21/these-dolls-are-about-parts-of-miami-guess-which-one-is-me/

http://www.greenchair.net/funny/colorado-barbie.htm

http://www.city-data.com/forum/new-jersey/30782-new-jersey-barbie-dolls.html

You've Come a Long Way, Barbie

Okay, this really will be my last comment on the Fall Fashion shows.
Uncanny resemblance, no?

Masked marauders

Just to wrap up my observations on the hiatus-year fashion shows, in Paris, designs masking female models' faces caused a bit of controversy with feminists. Something about the lack of female self-possession.

Y'heard me. That's feminists objecting to the covering up of the faces of scantily clad, anorexic waifs who parade the egotistical designs of men before leering audiences. And it's the masks causing them problems.

Thus ends the 2008 Fashion Shows!

Hiatus hurdle

As of today, hiatus is in the final two-month stretch!

I'm wondering whether I'll miss the discipline of the forced break, whether I'll be tempted to go back to whimiscal purchases made to brighten my day.

I can't imagine doing this with some of the fashion styles out there now, but that's beside the point.

Hiatus protects me from the whims and the inherent fashion mistakes of the whims. It's a bit like wearing a school uniform - it leaves you no choice in the matter of what to wear to school. You just put on the uniform. (And in my case, hope you don't get hit with a ruler.)

Let's hope there's not some big ruler out there waiting for me come the end of November.

Say it in only six words

In the blogosphere, kitchy sites abound. One shows secrets written on postcards. [www.postsecret.com] This led to a related chatroom. The chatroom recently solicited six-word secrets. This was based on a book. A best-selling book that made money. Six-word synopses are the current rage. [www.smithmag.net/sixwords]

Why six and who picked it? That seems to be a secret.

My shopping hiatus knows no secrets. It needs no silly word limitations. When you can't shop, you die. (At least a part of you.) There's rebirth in writing about it. But not using just six words. That additional restriction seems unnecessarily cruel. Not at all poetic or interesting.

In fact, it seems rather boring.

Maybe writers should try three-word alliterations. Six-word secrets suck. Fashion foibles frustrate. Hiatus hinders Halloween.

Or maybe, writers should just go back to writing and stop trying to be cute for a buck.

Nobody. Hates. Saks.

There's a remake of a movie out now that features only women. All characters, even those extras in the background, are women. Aptly entitled, "The Women," it ironically is about a woman trying to get her man back. The subtitle to the original movie at least was more honest - "It's all about men!"

Ignoring the issues I might have with that, what interests me more is that, according to one reviewer, there is only one character that escapes 'the spit of cattiness' (such a great phrase - thank you Anthony Lane of The New Yorker!). That character is not a woman and not a man, but - you guessed it - a store. Saks.

[For those of you who only have been to a Saks Fifth Avenue store in your local shopping mall, Saks is a high-end department store located on Fifth Avenue in New York City, that has amazing window and light displays during the xmas holidays. When Saks branched out into mallworld, it called itself, 'Saks Fifth Avenue.' Since this came as a revelation to at least one friend from the western USA, I thought I'd clear that up now.]

And for those of you who understand high-end department stores, you'll appreciate the love affair that these woman have for Saks. The focus on this movie, like SATC, like Gossip Girls, like 90210, is fashion. Daily Variety highlighted the movie in its Fall fashion Emmy edition, elaborating that "friends may come and go, but fashion is forever." Worse yet, the main character's answer for finding out what she really wants to do with her life, is to design her own collection of clothes. Why not? Why should she be any different than Victoria Posh Spice Girl Beckham or Justin nSync Timberlake or the myriad of other actors who, not satisfied with their acting careers, want to make a mark in the world of fashion?

I don't know why they can't simply want to direct like normal actors?

Skin tight and skin deep

Years ago, a friend once asked me whether I'd like to come back to the world incredibly beautiful, but dumb as a doorknob, or genius-level smart, but hideously ugly. The choice was - and still is - easy.

Dumb and beautiful, of course!

I mean, if I were that beautiful and that dumb, I'd be too stupid to know anything other than everyone wanted to take care of things for me because of my beauty, right? I'd be helped with everything and desired by everyone. I'd be given loads of gifts, taken to heaps of dinners and dances, and have lots of friends. (And if they were false friends, I wouldn't know because I'd be too stupid to understand that!) All my life, I would only know that people always want to do things for me.

Sounds all right to me.

I thought of this recently when - twice in a week - I was accused of not being a sexual person with my choice of clothes. And the accusation may even have gone deeper than that, extending to me not being a sexual person with the physical being I put out in the world - hair style, makeup (or in my case, lack thereof), demeanor, etc.

While I'm not sure my accusers are so wrong, I'm also not sure that it's so wrong to keep that part of me private either. I mean, how does one reconcile looking sexy and attractive to the outside world with either not caring about it for fear of rejection, or being too afraid to look that way for fear of attention? (This is why I continue to pay my therapist good money - money that I earn because I'm not beautiful enough to just be given it.)

Overall, despite the attention of SATC, Gossip Girls and now 90210, I'm not sure that wearing tighter or more revealing clothes really helps a woman feel sexy or attractive. I think it's more to do with a woman's acceptance of herself that makes her feel that way. (And I think the same is true for guys, despite the old adage, 'the clothes make the man'.) So while a Hermes scarf tied around a woman's mane of billowing hair might look incredibly attractive, I don't think that it gives her the self-esteem needed to feel sexy wearing it.

Cuckoo for Coco

A recent movie on the life of Coco Chanel aired in the US on television last weekend.

Daily Variety glibly rated it a 'No. 5' on a scale of 1-10. Said to be 'less haute couture than high melodrama', this television biopic precedes another about Coco Chanel that is in the works at Warner Bros. Why so much interest in Coco Chanel (besides some reviewers' interest in seeing Shirley MacLaine play the aging designer)?

Well why not?

This is the woman who created the 'little black dress', the iconic Chanel suit and costume jewelry! On the heels of New York's Fashion Week, with both Victoria Posh Spice Girl Beckham and Justin nSync Timberlake of all people claiming to be fashion designers, I like the idea of a designer actually creating a style as opposed to copying one. Bring on the biopics about her!

And during these days of hiatus, when feeling particularly deprived after receiving Bergdoff Goodman's offer of a $100 gift card with a purchase from the fall shoe collection, do what I do and fondly recall that Coco once said, "Fashion fades, only style remains the same."

Boyfriend blues jeans

My life with jeans used to be simple. Levi's. Just Levi's. Straight leg, button fly, 501s. Simple.

Then came stonewashed, boot-cut, guy's fit, bell-bottoms, low-rise, 521s, 504s, 515s and all the other numbers corresponding to the styles of Levi's that I never knew existed. (See www.levi.com for the complete list.)

Things got worse when other brand names and styles came into existence. Diesel, Lucky Brand, Seven. Who could keep track?

Now the trends can't even keep up with themselves. 'Skinny' jeans came and went so quickly that I'm not even sure they ever really applied to women in the US - only young gay men. And news now that 'boyfriend' jeans currently are all the rage. You know the style, those jeans that hang low on your hips and also in the crotch in a slouchy kind of way because they're supposed to look like they are a couple of sizes too big, as if they are your boyfriend's jeans and you're wearing them home on your walk of shame. Katie Holmes recently was dubbed to be helping to bring them into style. (I won't get into her shame issues here; Tom, you know who you are.)

I consider all this as I recall donating some jeans and trousers last year to my local thrift shop because they were too big. You know, trying to keep only my clothes that fit and all. These pairs hung down on my hips and hung low in the crotch as if they weren't my own. I thought they looked sexy; others said they were big.

Here I thought the therapy was working - all it may be doing is stopping me from being the trendsetter that I apparently am.

Peace, Man

Yes, the New York Fashion Week shows finally are over, and peace has returned.

This means it's also time to return to documenting my emotional encounters with the new fall clothes that I can't have instead of picking on the poor designers and Hollywood A-listers attending their shows.

It was fun while it lasted.

I had the most fun searching for information about the shows. Amazing how much effort goes into the articles on the shows and what the clothes were like, who was invited to sit in the front row, what the designers (who had to explain their collections like misunderstood artists) said, and - in a perfect blend of past blog entries - the US Olympian on the catwalk with her 2 year old daughter. (Yes, Dara Torres, the 41-year old swimmer, modeled at the Charles Nolan show!)

The only thing to beat that would be if she had worn a superhero outfit.